Hollywood In Drag

Internet, explain to me why celebrities are crossing the line from Androgyny to Transsexuality. I had no idea there was another one of these movies making it's way to cinematic big screens everywhere. Let alone, I had no idea this movie would be a musical and be named after mass produced Revlon products. Yes, Internet I am talking about Hairspray... Moreover it's not the movie itself that disgusts me, well it might be that. Putting John Travolta in a fat suit to play a woman equivalent to a character in the Nutty Professor or Big Momma's House isn't surprising or shocking anymore. Making Michelle Pfeiffer revert back to the days of Grease 2 isn't even what actually wrinkles my balls. It's the fucking fact that this shit is not a first time occurrence.

No Internet, it's the fact that celebrities who gross millions upon millions of fucking dollars per year are getting paid to play the role of women. Yes, fucking women. Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, Luigi from Mario Bros., Eddie Murphy, and now fucking John Travolta. Seriously, what the fuck is going on? Am I seriously wrong in thinking that female roles in movies are supposed to be played by women? since when is this becoming a fucking problem? This whole concept does nothing but make me question the credibility of any superficial A-List male star in Hollywood.

John Travolta is supposed to playing roles opposite Nicholas Cage and blowing shit the fuck up. Patrick Swayze is supposed to be using Kung-Fu to subdue drunk motherfuckers so that he might eject them from road side bars. Wesley Snipes is supposed to keep getting cryogenically frozen so that he may organize crime waves in the future and slay vampires with Jessica Biel. Luigi is supposed to bust caps in Fat Joe's ass over the cocaine trade again and again. Eddie Murphy is just supposed to keep failing at life while trying to maintain the grace of a masculine heterosexual adult male. What I am saying Internet, is that these fucking men are not supposed to demean themselves and slather themselves in lipstick and mascara.

When the fuck did acting become about who could portray having the world's biggest fucking vagina? What fucking feelings am I supposed to have about seeing all these has been bad ass again action stars cross dressing? This does nothing for me. Internet, if you do not feel the same way then you are a complete and total imbecile. If you find some amusement in this then you have some deviated fetish in which this shit aids in getting your rocks off. Either way, I fucking hate you. Internet, this is becoming an unidentifiably stupid trend. I want nothing more than to pull my childhood action heroes aside and to slap them in their mascara covered cock sockets. At this moment, there is no fucking doubt in my mind that I could single handedly whip Patrick Swayze's ass. There is no shred of uncertainty in my mind that you could form a line-up consisting only of Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, John Travolta, and Rosie Odonnell; and Rosie would have the biggest fucking testicles of them all.

Internet, A-List celebrities do not make entertaining Drag queens.