Okay, so apparently with all the e-mails I've been receiving and neglecting to answer out of sheer not giving a fuck... I have decided to create a F.A.Q. Maybe this page will keep the number pointless e-mails I receive down to a minimum (Doubtful)....

Q: How often do you update The Wasteland?

A:First off, Let me address the simple fact that I update my site when I so desire. I will, as a writer, try to keep this site updated on a fairly frequent basis. Try to remember Internet, I do not exist to spoon Strawberries out of your asshole. I will write and update when I feel it necessary. Until then, you can go have a good day chalked full of go fuck yourself.

Q: Does The Wasteland have a Myspace?

A: Yes I have a Myspace.com profile. However, I view Myspace as the next fucking pet rock. It's a fucking fad, which is almost as bad as a trend. It's receding into the bowels of commercialism. Tom Anderson is selling his frat boy resemblant soul to whatever corporation will realize he ripped off Facebook.com...

Q: Can I make a small suggestion?

A: I don't even want to hear about fucking typos. I know they exist, and so do you. Get over it. If one day I actually turn this fucking glorified blog into something worthwhile, then I will deal with it from there. I do not care about any fucking suggestions you have for a new layout or a fucking color scheme. Do not e-mail me with suggestions of what to write about. I could honestly care less. I prefer to keep things simple and let my writing speak for itself. I am aware that websites can be flashy and full of animation. So can fucking Disney movies. Fuck you and your suggestions. Do yourself a favor and go watch Aladdin.

Q: Why don't you ever write about sex and relationships?

A: Are you fucking serious? Sex and relationships is one of the most overrated topics to ever be discussed across the fucking Internet. Let's just start with the obvious... I'm married and not to some fucking inbred saggy titted orangutan either. My wife is a legitimate 4-star and appreciates my lack of cock on a daily fucking basis. This is enough for me. I do not care to endorse your broken ego because whatever slut of the month you chose to stalk dumped your sorry ass. Follow the rest of the world's lead and belly up to a fucking bar.

Q: Are you just another Maddox rip-off?

A: Maddox and I have absolutely nothing in common. I am an avid reader of his site; however, The Wasteland did not come into existence until Maddox had been online for 8 fucking years. Maddox believes himself to be a gay ass Pirate and eats Beef Jerky and Milk for fucking breakfast. I mainly smoke a pack of Camel Filters per diem and drink copious amounts of Budweiser. Maddox doesn't actually give you his personality, he gives you a character in which comic books and novels are modeled after. I take upon myself to share with you my full personality. This is the way I am, my site is satirical yet my personality shines through like the Chernobyl Disaster. I have been featured on the same Talk Radio Show (Link Here) as the producer of Ocean's 12 and I discussed weird shit like Anal Leakage and Zug.com... Maddox has a book deal and a site that receives 20,000 hits per day. I only receive 50-75 hits on the daily and I will refuse to ever write a fucking book. I will not sell my soul becomes the world can quite seem to understand I'm 5'7" and an Armenian Accountant.